A Little Training Cruise
by bitterbeetle
Summary: Space AU: Zoro made the mistake of trusting a Marine, and it costs him dearly. Stranded in the emptiness of space, with only his thoughts and regrets, one shabby little vessel comes to retrieve him.
1. Zoro

The emergency lights are on, and everything is black and red and flashing, blinding, pulsing with the hysteria thick in the air. The crew knew they were going to die, and they weren't taking well to it. The gunner was gripping the joystick with a white-knuckled grip, murmuring prayers that were increasing in volume to war with the alarms. The navigator had long since died after the first hit the ship took, breaking her neck when she hadn't put her belt on fast enough. Her replacement, Yosaku, had given up steering the ship to avoid the missiles, instead opting to force the tin can of a spaceship in a straight line. Johnny had abandoned any attempt at communications with the other vessel. His gaze was blank and fixated on the controls, as if soon they would speak to him and tell him what to do, regardless of the desperate shouts Zoro aimed at him. There was nothing to be done. Not that could be done. They were doomed the moment they agreed to Morgan's demands. The Marine captain had never been one for negotiations with bounty hunters. They would have been safe, as privateers, to do as they pleased, but Morgan had taken that away from them too. Now all that was left was death.

No – there was still one option left.

Leaving the seat as acting captain – they hadn't even gotten so far as to decide that yet – Zoro grabbed Yosaku by the shoulder just as another missile took out the engine on their port beam. Consequently the ship began to spin until Yosaku released the controls and joined Zoro as he flew into the opposing wall. Coughing and hacking to regain the breath in his lungs, Zoro rose in the same movement as he gripped his crewmate's arm, dragging him towards the stern.

"What are you doing?" snapped Yosaku, stumbling with the uneven movement of their drifting ship, "We have to get away –"

"There's no way that's happening," interrupted Zoro, shoving him towards the emergency escape pods, "We're getting out of here."

"But Johnny and –"

"They've lost the will to live. We don't have time to force them. They'll follow us if they want to face a potential fate worse than dying here."

Yosaku's expression froze into one of terror at the thought. The darkness. The endless darkness. No one to save them from suffocating in the pod on their own, or starving before then, or succumb to a rotting mind if not even then. They would float forever, lost.

It truly was worse than dying in an explosion.

But death itself was not certain today. Zoro watched Yosaku's fear thaw into steely determination. Regardless of what happened to anyone on the ship now, it was true that tragedy had struck that day. Both men entered a pod of their own, lying down as rough straps snapped over their joints and pinned them in place. Another explosion rocked the ship – Morgan was toying with them now, certain of his sick victory. Rage warred with the nervousness in Zoro's gut, quelling it with sudden ferocity. That's right, it didn't matter what happened next so long as it gave him the opportunity to cut the man down. He would take starvation and suffocation and his own mindlessness if just that moment was presented to him.

A curved door with a series of slits for a window slid over the pod, trapping Zoro with himself. He didn't notice his breathing quicken, or that he had long ago broken out into a cold sweat. All he could think about was the inevitable –

The ship ejected the pod with enough force that Zoro was certain his lungs would rupture there and then. The speed and trajectory was random and the pod began to slow and turn, giving its guest a view of the abandoned ship through the slits. There was nothing to listen to but his own breathing, and the near silent sound of his blinking, but he didn't need to hear to feel the explosion that ripped the ship apart. There was no flame but instead a swelling blue rose, visibly crackling with raw energy, which swallowed the spacecraft whole. The next moment, a flying piece of debris, similar in size and shape to a broken escape pod, came cartwheeling out of nowhere to clip Zoro's hull.

The result was immediate. The pod spun like a top, distorting what was visible outside the case into a dark blur. There was no point in seeing any more, so Zoro slid his eyelids shut and tried not to think about the spinning pod, or his gut clenching, or the swish of liquid in his stomach, or the fierce beating of his heart and the rasp of his breath. There was nothing. Well and truly nothing.

––––––––

He knew he'd been floating for far longer than an hour. Maybe even more than twenty-four. How many days could it have been? A week? A month?

No – he was still alive. He was hungry, very very hungry, and he had to inhale and exhale more than normal, and his head had been feeling light for some time now, but he was still alive, and his mind was still whole. It was like this – drifting alone with no idea if Yosaku had made it out as well, or if he was still alive in his pod now, and feeling the guilt that gnawed at him for leaving the others behind to be devoured by the blue flower – that Zoro was found.

He had his eyes closed, or perhaps they weren't, but regardless Zoro was seeing nothing when he felt a curious tug against his person. The pod had been nudged by something. Eyelids bobbing and struggling to maintain one position, Zoro made an attempt at focusing past the slits towards the blackness beyond them. It took him a minute to realize there was more than just empty speckled space. A small blob was approaching him – or rather, he was approaching it, as he got closer he further realized it was a vessel. It was small, he knew, much like the ship he had abandoned in his selfishness, in his gross self-regard, his greediness to survive, without once thinking of his crewmates that he had left behind. His breathing sped up even more, and his oxygen deprived brain screamed at him to stop, just stop thinking, but it was too late. Without wishing it, his eyes rolled up in his head.

––––––––

He woke to the sensation of being dragged over a threshold. His heels bumped over a track, then there was the hiss and grind of an old automatic door struggling to close itself. Somewhere above him there was a grunt, and this was what stirred Zoro to fully wake and open his eyes in a flash. Above him hovered multicoloured beads locked around black hair, and just beyond that was a pleasantly surprised face with wide, dark eyes and a gnarled scar over one cheekbone.

The scar was enough to put Zoro on edge, but the expression made him stop before he struck out. The human – how long had he seen one other than Morgan? – dropped him immediately and took several paces back, allowing Zoro space to maneuver to his knees. He stared down the human as he rose to his feet. He ached all over, his knees especially stinging at his movement, but they held and he could straighten his back with some act of strength.

The human tilted his head in one direction, then again in the other, before breaking out in a grin.

"Hungry?"

That was not the first word Zoro had expected to hear after being taken from his escape pod.

"Yeah, but –"

"Great! Look, I don't have much to share, but since you starving would be counterproductive, I might as well feed you. Just letting you know now, I get first dibs on _all_ the red meat."

"That's fine, but –"

"Good! 'Cause I'm _starving_ since I only ate breakfast, brunch and lunch and didn't get a chance to have after-lunchsies or pre-dinner supper. "

The human, who under normal laws should have been immensely obese, whisked away to presumably enter the kitchen. Zoro cautiously followed, his right palm resting on the bladeless hilts of his energy swords. Despite his overall weakened state, he didn't doubt he could cut the young human down if the situation called for it. He'd even get a ship out of the deal – providing it was as empty as it seemed in the cramped space. When he caught up to the human, he found he wasn't in a kitchen at all, which he should have known given the size of the vessel, but instead the bridge that held all the controls for the ship. On the captain's seat was a pile of, oddly enough, meat. Undressed and poorly cooked, but apparently safe to eat nevertheless by the way the human was presently stuffing it in his face.

"Come, sit," ordered the boy, miraculously not spraying a crumb of charred meat at Zoro despite the volume of it occupying his mouth.

So Zoro sat, on the floor near the human, reaching out to grab what appeared to be a chunk of white meat. After tearing it in half at the thickest part, to be sure it was actually cooked, Zoro shoved the meat into his mouth, allowing his ravenous hunger to take control of his motor skills. The human was laughing joyfully, the sound muffled with the food in the way. In half an hour flat, all the meat that had been piled onto the chair had been devoured, and the human had made good on his monopoly of the red meat, and all of it had gone right to his stomach. Zoro didn't even care, so long as he had some sort of food in his belly, and now he did. He was so relieved, and feeling a sort of happy grogginess, when he remembered where he was and snapped his attention to the human now staring at him with barely contained excitement.

"Who're you?" growled Zoro, mentally kicking himself for letting a bit of pod-craziness and hunger make him lose focus.

The kid seemed unaware of the danger he was potentially in and grinned broadly at him. "I'm Luffy. This is my ship, making me the captain. You're Zoro aren't you?"

Zoro narrowed his eyes. "How d'you know me?"

"I was looking for someone wicked strong, and I overheard someone saying stuff about a bounty hunter named Zoro. Obviously I went looking for you." His grin widened. "I thought you were dead for sure!"

Exhaling long and slow through his nose, Zoro tried not to lose his temper on the human so fast. "Thanks for picking me up, but I have a place I have to be – and someone to look for."

"That's fine. Since you're with me, we can go together."

"What?"

"Me as captain, you as my first mate."

"That's – No. I have to go looking for…"

The bounty hunter trailed off, finally catching sight of the very poorly drawn skull and crossbones on the wall behind the captain's chair. No matter how obscure it was, it was still obviously a jolly roger. Which meant –

"You're a pirate?"

"Yeah! I'm gonna be – _Woah!"_

The human, Luffy, stared at the blade suddenly at his neck. Along its extended wire length sizzled a poisonous green energy, tendrils of it drifting from its surface to lick at the ship captain's flesh as if drawn to the blood beneath. Luffy was no longer grinning, but there was still no trace of fear in his eyes. Instead, he cocked an eyebrow at the bounty hunter.

"What's the meaning of this?" snarled Zoro, allowing his suspicion to sharpen the energy sword and open up a red nick in Luffy's neck. "You go looking for a bounty hunter, someone who hunts down the heads of pirates like yourself, and for what? A _first mate?_ Don't make me laugh."

"I'm not lying," said Luffy simply, "It doesn't matter that you're a bounty hunter. You're strong, and I want you in my crew."

"What crew? It's just you!"

"And you, now."

Incredulous, Zoro searched the pirate human's expression for falsity, but found nothing but a ridiculous sincerity that reminded him of a child. No child would look like that with a blade pressing against their skin, however. Resigned, Zoro retracted the sword and slid it back in its place at his hip.

"I'm no pirate," he said with finality even this kid couldn't mistake, "You have my thanks for retrieving my pod, but that's all you're getting. Drop me off at the nearest port and I won't cause you trouble."

Luffy screwed up his nose. "No way. You're gonna be my first mate, I've decided."

Almost as an afterthought, he lifted a hand to brush away the dewdrop of blood that formed at the slight cut Zoro had left behind.

"I said no."

"You're pretty stubborn, aren't you?"

"That goes without saying. I am a. Bounty. Hunter."

"Yeah, and?"

"…"

"Now that's settled, time to set off!"

Zoro watched mutely as the captain draped himself over the navigator's empty chair and punched a few buttons seemingly at random. Obviously satisfied with choosing any old destination, the captain spun around to beam at Zoro.

"Do you know anyone on that big ship? Big ships have tons of strong people, don't they?"

The bounty hunter opened his mouth to reply shortly, but then found himself striding quickly to the very front of the bridge to stare over Luffy's shoulder. It certainly was a big ship, and on the side was a symbol that send a fiery rage boiling through Zoro's entire body. Grinding his teeth together into a grin, the hunter looked down to meet Luffy's wide-eyed gaze.

"Tons. And I'm going to crush the person that captains that particular ship."

"Wow!" Luffy beamed, unperturbed by the obvious bloodlust. "That's gonna be a lot of work you know."

"I'll manage."

"I have an idea! Since you're my first mate –"

"I'm not."

" – then that means your battles are my battles too. I'll take care of all the small fry, so you just go on ahead and cut down the big boss. If I do that, you have to really be my crewmember, okay?"

Zoro could only stare at the conviction and confidence this lanky, scruffy-haired and scarred human was exuding. He wasn't exaggerating. From the way he spoke, Zoro had to believe that Luffy was going to make good on his word, just like how he'd eaten all the red meat. The situation was completely different, but he had no doubt. This kid was serious, and for some bizarre, unmentionable reason, Zoro was excited at the thought of bursting into that hulking Marine ship and ripping it to shreds at his side.

Luffy grinned once more at the change in Zoro's expression and reached out to grab the navigator's joystick.

"Time to take out that ship!"

"Aye," said Zoro, closing his grip around one of his swords, "Captain."

––––––––

**A/N:** Oh boy. Oooh boy. Okay so I think I might do each of the crew's first meeting and impression of the Strawhat Pirates at each point in its evolution – if I have the motivation. That's the plan. If I can do it. Which I totally can. If I want to. _Come on, motivation._

And this is the link to the full size image and my original thought: bitterbeetle. / post/ 93165126627/one-piece-au-in-which-luffy-floats-around-space


	2. Usopp

The port was a hovering island, encased in its own gravity field, out in the middle of space between a gaseous planet and its ringed neighbor. Both planets provided a stunning view while not interfering with the travels of the folk that passed them. The port itself was packed with all sorts. Tall and gilled Shimons leered from a long bar, drinking excessively and without consequence, while a grossly lanky Rumbari watched with passive interest and nursed a cup of tea. Further down, occupying several round tables just to themselves, was a crew of what could only be pirates by the way they kicked their feet up on the tables and sloshed their booze around. Despite being Syrupians like himself, Usopp had no intention of joining them. While he had bluffed his way onto a ship, earning a free ride to this port and promptly being left behind, just so he could search for a crew of his own, he didn't want any of the riffraff currently blundering about the port pub.

He turned back to his meal, prodding at the overcooked meat with disinterest. His fork hit the plate without coming in contact with the tough hunk, causing Usopp to look down in confusion. The sadly wilted salad was the only thing left. Looking up, he took notice of the human youth sitting opposite him, chewing on what was clearly Usopp's steak with no regard for who had originally purchased it.

"I hate to ask," began Usopp, frowning at the boy, "But why are you eating my meat?"

The human barely chewed before swallowing, licking his lips and his fingertips before answering. "You didn't look like you were enjoying it, so I took it instead."

It was very simple and to the point. "But I paid for it."

"I'm a pirate."

"So…?"

"I wanted it."

Usopp squinted hard at the boy, who, unperturbed, reached out with a long arm and snatched an equally overcooked steak from the next table over. That in itself would have been an interesting sight, except now Usopp was ogling the abnormality that was the human's – was he even human? – arm. It was long, yes, but longer than it should ever have been while keeping it's overall shape. It _stretched_.

"W-w-w-_what _is _that_?" blubbered Usopp, pointing with his shaking fork at the arm.

It shrank back, delivering the meat to the boy's grinning mouth. "My arm, obviously."

"I see that, but _how is that possible?_"

"Funny story. There was this cosmic ray reactor thing and –"

"Enough said. I've gotten the gist of it." Usopp dropped the fork to the table, lowering his head into his hands. This was beyond him, well and truly. It was best to distance himself now before the kid got himself into trouble. Nobody with a rubber body was ever good news.

As if to prove him right, a roar of anger rose from the next table over. Lifting his head quickly, Usopp was fast enough to see the kid, who had at some point gotten up, receive a steel-reinforced fist to the face. The blow sent him flying over several other tables, cleaning the last with his body before coming to a rest on the floor. Usopp knew an invitation to get the hell out when he saw one. He turned as he stood, but the riffraff Syrupians were getting up as well, forming a wall of bodies that he could not pass without arbitrarily offending at least half of them. Resigned, Usopp turned to watch the bar fight as if he too was a part of their pirate crew.

It was, without a doubt, a no holds barred beatdown. In three seconds flat, Usopp's jaw was hanging wide, perfectly mirroring the expressions of the pirates around him. With an air of satisfaction, the rubber human left his attacker bent double in the broken remains of a table, opting to leave the establishment while swiping chunks of meat from other unguarded plates. The crumpled pirate released a groan, and his fellows took on menacing expressions. None of them seemed concerned by who was among them, allowing Usopp to tag along on their tail as they practically stampeded out of the pub.

"Luffy, _what_ have you done this time?"

The voice didn't have the fear or nervousness that Usopp expected when one was surrounded by thick-necked and heavily muscled vagrants. Instead, the voice's owner radiated exasperation that – for what reason – seemed oddly fond. Usopp hopped on the spot, trying to get a good look, but there was no point when his head couldn't clear the shoulders of the fellows in front of him. Instead, he moved back to sit on some empty crates and wait for the results.

This time as well he was unable to keep his jaw from dropping. The human swung out a fist, his arm extended out, and suddenly half the pirates had been clotheslined and subsequently floored. However he was no longer alone. A minty-haired Shimon was flourishing twin energy swords beside him, a third remaining strapped to his hip. The blades' edges were obviously dulled, but that did nothing to withhold the punch the swordsman's well-trained swipe provided. Both the Shimon and the human wore expressions that told Usopp they were very obviously enjoying themselves.

"Weird, right?"

With a start, Usopp turned to look at the woman beside him. Human was his first assumption, but when she smiled at him, chin in a languid hand, the edges of her hair lit up like fire.

"C-C-C-Cocoyasi!" spluttered Usopp, immediately turning red in the face and looking away.

"Yep," she laughed, "Don't worry, I don't bite. Not like those weirdoes." With a lazy hand wave, she indicated the rubber human and the Shimon swordsman. "We probably could have avoided this but Zoro got lost and of course _I_ had to go fetch him. It's a wonder they ever made that tin can fly."

"W-what?"

"I'm Nami. You are?"

"Usopp." Wait, why was he responding so readily? "Uh – sorry but, why are you…?"

"Talking to you?" She laughed again, and sparks spun out of her hair. "You're obviously not a pirate, or at least not one involved with these guys. I thought we could be friends. You know, two sane travellers amidst the chaos."

Her smile was bewitching, and her words equally so, but Usopp was no stranger to bluffs and stretched truths.

"What're you looking for?" he asked as he stood, "It's not a friend, I know that much."

She shrugged. "Conversation to pass the time. Ah, it looks like they're done."

An energetic voice made Usopp turn around in time to see the rubber human drop a pirate by his collar. "_Nami_. I'm hungry."

"You just ate, Luffy," she replied easily. Usopp recognized the same fondness from before.

"It wasn't enough."

"We don't have money, you know that, right?"

"There's all that treas–"

"_That_ is not your food money!" she snapped, then sighed, "If the two of you work in the back kitchen for a day, maybe they'll give us a meal."

The swordsman scowled as he retracted his swords. "The two of us? What about you?"

"My skin doesn't take too well to scrubbing."

"Then what about the money in that guy's wallet?"

The swordsman – Zoro, was it? – pointed a finger at Usopp, causing the Syrupian to automatically lean away despite being nowhere near his blades.

"I–I haven't got money for you guys!" he squeaked, then cleared his throat. "I mean, I have nothing to share with you hooligans. I'll have you know I'm a captain of my own ship, with eight thousand crewmates loyal to me! So you better not mess with me!"

The human, Luffy, gasped in awe, then burst out laughing, while Zoro looked skeptical. From beside Usopp, Nami snorted.

"Only a hundred beri? I was expecting at least triple this, to be honest."

Usopp looked and paled when he saw his wallet open in her hands and being rifled through.

"That's mine!" he squawked, lunging for the wallet and snatching it from her hands.

She grinned, waving the extracted money and promptly tucking it down her shirt. Usopp could only make furious indignant sounds, his hands not bold enough to retrieve the last of his money. This only made Luffy guffaw harder, pulling a grin from even the swordsman. Pursing his lips, Usopp stuffed his wallet back into the safety(?) of his pocket.

"Can I have my money back?" he asked.

"Not a chance," replied Nami, "We're dirt poor. We need it."

"Except for that treasure–"

"Shut up, Luffy. That isn't food money."

The human pouted. Nami smiled.

"So, Usopp, know any cheap places where a few hungry pirates can get a lot of food?"

Usopp had no idea how it had come to this, but at some point he had agreed to take a tour of Luffy's pirate ship. He had long before decided to suspend his disbelief that of the three pirates to be captain– well, not Nami since she was adamant she wasn't _actually_ a part of the crew – it was the rambunctious youth that had _somehow_ fallen into a cosmic ray reactor and gotten his body turned to rubber. Then again, it made a lot of sense when both Zoro and Nami briefly explained how they had ended up on the ship in the first place.

"He found me floating in space, told me I was his first mate, and we trashed a Marine ship together. Yeah, I was a bounty hunter. What's your point?"

"He landed his ship in the warehouse I was tied up in, and the two of them demolished the entire gang inside before realizing I was there. When I tried to steal their ship, they'd already gotten back on. No, I'm not his navigator. I'm tagging along until I find a better ship that's been left unguarded."

Usopp was sure that had it been anyone else, neither of these equally eccentric people would have bothered getting themselves involved with them. But it was Luffy, and Usopp found himself getting further caught up in the captain's pace by the minute.

It was a black hole of friendship that he was dealing with, and he wasn't so sure it was terribly unwanted.

"This is where I keep my meat," announced Luffy as he gestured grandly at his captain's chair, "But there's none right now. _Nami_ –"

"Earn some cash then, you brat!"

"What about Usopp's –"

"You ate more than what we had budgeted for."

"You have tr–"

"_Don't say it_."

Luffy spun away from Nami's glower with a pout to lead Usopp down the port side hall. "This is where Nami keeps her treasure, and that's the bathroom. That's it!"

–––––

Usopp wasn't sure what he was expecting when he'd been told he was going to get a tour of a pirate ship. Certainly a little more space than a shuttle, with no guns to its name and only two proper rooms. Neither the captain nor the swordsman complained about it, and the only true grievance Nami had with the arrangements was that she was forced to sleep with the other two. It wouldn't be such a big deal, she confided in Usopp, if not for Luffy's tendency to sprawl, drape and cuddle.

Standing where he could get the best view of the port from within the shuttle, Usopp felt peculiar. A little bit wistful, maybe, and a lot of apprehension, the latter not a result of his needless tour. There was something else he had to do, and regardless of how much she had tried to convince him otherwise, Kaya didn't have much time left.

So with a heavy heart, Usopp turned from the controls to face his fast friends. "This was great and all, but I remembered something I have to do. Sorry, I need to go."

Luffy's immediate reaction was to slump over the captain's chair and lose all muscle mass. "_Whyyy?"_

"I need to find a crew–"

"But you _have_ eight thousand."

"– and a ship to sail."

"Join _my_ crew!"

Usopp shook his head. "Impossible. I need a big crew – besides, I'm the one that'll be captain when I find them."

Luffy pouted, and Nami interjected. "You're not going to find a crew to captain, or a ship, at this port. There's really no point."

"I have to try," said Usopp, "This is the closest port to Syrup. I need to find a crew _here_."

"What for?"

"That's… not important."

"It sort of sounds like it is."

"Well it's not!"

Nami cocked an eyebrow. Usopp sighed.

"Sorry," he said, "There's somebody that needs my help, and I need a big crew."

"Big, or do you mean strong?" The swordsman rose from where he had been sitting. "There's an important difference."

Usopp opened his mouth to respond, then closed it. Zoro was right.

"Strong, I meant strong." The Syrupian grit his teeth briefly. "I have a friend on Syrup that needs my help. There's a pirate – or not a pirate but he used to be. He's been threatening her, blackmailing her for her inheritance, and the trust of the city she runs. But she's weak – sick. She can't – she isn't –"

He stopped to regain his composure, breathing deeply through his nose before continuing.

"Kaya can't do anything without that man hurting other people, so before he does something that can't be undone, I need to bring in a crew that can get rid of him. It's not a matter of money, there's plenty of that being thrown around, but Kaya doesn't want to involve outside help. She's more afraid of them getting hurt. You can already tell, can't you? She's too kind. She doesn't realize – it's what needs to be done – it has to be worth the risk."

Stopping again, Usopp looked down at his clenched fists. Nobody said a word for what felt like minutes rather than seconds. Even to his own ears it had sounded like he was trying to convince them, a measly crew of three, to be the ones to come to his – to Kaya's – aid. No one would do that for someone they'd just met.

"We'll help you," declared Luffy suddenly, "In return, you have to join my crew. That's it."

Usopp looked up, eyes wide, and immediately felt something heavy lift from his chest. His initial feeling had to have been correct. This human, with his weird body and his even more bizarre sense of conviction, would keep his word no matter how idly spoken. There was a familiar heat pressing against his eyes. Swallowing what would have been nothing but wordless garble, Usopp nodded his head furiously. Nami was saying "But I'll take the money too", Zoro was grinning, and Luffy was looking pleased, and standing before them with hope tracing salty tracks down his cheeks, Usopp felt accepted.

–––––

**A/N**: I don't know how I managed to pop that out this fast, but considering I have a paper due tonight and I haven't started that, it was probably not a good idea. HAHAHA OH WELL….


End file.
